A Long Island divorce lawyer may advise their clients to seek the help from an independent children’s lawyer when they cannot agree upon custody of their child or children.  Fighting over the custody of a child or children is the number one cause of uncontested divorces in America today.

When couples realize that they’re ‘happily ever after’ has become a nightmare, for one reason or another, they often race each other to the divorce courts to see who could file for separation and then divorce first because dissolving a marriage can be a bitter and difficult process and turn even the nicest people into an evil, revengeful  individual.

If there was adultery involved or mental or physical abuse, then fighting over the smallest household decorations becomes a power struggle over the forces of good and evil in the eyes of the person who was betrayed.  This may sound extreme, but many divorces are the result of someone being betrayed and in some cases one spouse may feel as if they have been victimized for many years and so they assert their new found power by fighting over the most trivial items.

A New York uncontested divorce is probably a rare type of divorce because most people want to fight rather than back down and this is most difficult and saddening when it comes to the children who are often caught in the middle of “mommy and daddy’s” big fight.

Many parents, if they would put their differences aside for only a moment, would realize they are only harming their children and not each other when fighting one another for custody.  Few states make it mandatory that parents go through child custody mediation courses so that the parent can see exactly what they are doing that is harmful to their children.

Many times individuals end their marriages because it is what’s best for them and ultimately when they take care of themselves, they are better apt to take care of their children.  Not that many years ago, probably 40 or 50 years ago, couples stayed together for the sake of the children which researchers now know was not necessarily a good idea.